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MYTHS AND INFORMATION ABOUT DATE RAPE
A recent national survey indicated that 15% of women students on college campuses will become victims of rape and 11% will be victims of attempted rape. Other recent studies have produced similar results. 84% of the women who had been raped knew their assailants; 57% of the incidents had occurred during dates; and 73% of the assailants and 55% of the victims had used alcohol or other drugs prior to the assault.
Unfortunately, sexual battery, also known as rape, is a subject surrounded by misinformation. The information presented here is intended to help you understand the facts. Armed with facts you can make the best choices for your situation.
Date/Acquaintance rape occurs when an individual is forced by someone he or she knows to participate in unwanted sexual activity. Threats and intimidation, administration of alcohol or other drugs, as well as physical force or restraint is often present in an acquaintance rape situation. Acquaintance rape is the most common form of rape on college campuses. Acquaintance rape occurs most often during or after social events such as parties at bars, fraternity/sorority parties, or other places where students may congregate while using alcohol or drugs. It can even occur on a date.
There are expectations about what men's and women's roles should be, and at times these expectations conflict with true feelings. It is the responsibility of both men and women to communicate their feelings directly and to respect each other's right to say NO. Always remember, no means no.
Myths and Reality About Date Rape
*Myth: Date rape only happens between people who just met or don't know each other well.
*Reality: Rape (sexual intercourse against a person's will through the use or threat of
force) has nothing to do with how well the person knows the assailant. It's not uncommon for a
person to be raped by someone she or he has been dating for a long time, or by a former lover,
or by a spouse.
*Myth: There are many false reports of rape, especially date rape.
*Reality: Less than 1% of reported rapes in Los Angeles County have been found to be false
reports (a lower false report rate than for either robbery or homicide). In fact, nine out of
10 incidences of rape are NEVER reported.
*Myth: Women can easily avoid situations that can lead to rape.
*Reality: Most women who have been raped were in an environment they considered safe and were
raped by someone they thought they could trust.
*Myth: White women are more likely to be raped by black men than by white men.
*Reality: Only 13% of reported rapes are interracial, and of those that are, the majority
involve white men raping black women.
*Myth: Only women can be raped.
*Reality: Men can be and are sexually assaulted, and not only by men who are gay. Rape is not
about sexual orientation or sexual desire. It is an act of power and control, in which the
victim is brutalized and humiliated. A survey of convicted rapists has found that at least half
did not care about the sex of their victims: they had raped both men and women.
Here are some tips for both men and women to help understand this crime and to prevent it.
WOMEN:
* Know your sexual intentions and limits. You have the right to say "No" to any unwanted
sexual contact. If you are uncertain about what you want, ask the man to respect your feelings.
* If you don't know your date well. Consider driving your own car and asking to meet your date
in a public place--if he hesitates, don't waiver. If you do accept a ride from a date, always
carry some money so that you can call a cab if you need to cut the date short.
* Communicate your limits firmly and directly. If you say "No," say it like you mean it. Be
careful of mixed messages. Back up your words with a firm tone of voice and clear body language.
Remember that some men think that drinking, dressing provocatively, or going to a man's room
indicates a willingness to have sex. Be especially careful to communicate your limits and
intentions clearly in such situations.
* Don't rely on 'ESP' to get your message across. Don't assume that your date will automatically
know how you feel, or will eventually "get the message" without your having to tell him.
* Stay sober on a date. Alcohol impairs judgement and memory. A victim of rape who was
intoxicated may have her credibility attacked in court.
* Listen to your gut feelings. If you feel uncomfortable or think you may be at risk, leave the
situation immediately and go to a safe place.
* Don't be afraid to 'make waves' if you feel threatened. If you feel you are being pressured or
coerced into sexual activity against your will, don't hesitate to state your feelings and get
out of the situation. Better a few minutes of social awkwardness or embarrassment than the
trauma of sexual assault.
* Attend parties with friends you can trust. Agree to look out for one another. Try to leave
with a group, rather than alone or with someone you don't know very well.
* Fighting back. Most experts agree that this is a choice that each woman must make for herself.
If you are confident, consider learning self-defense techniques that provide you with an
option if you are attacked.
MEN:
*Listen carefully. Take the time to hear what the woman is saying. If you feel she is not being
direct or is giving you a "mixed message", ask for clarification.
*Use common sense. Realize that you do not have the right to force a woman to have sex just
because you paid for her dinner or drinks.
*Don't fall for common stereotypes. When a woman says "No", don't assume that she really means,
"Yes." "No" means "No." If a woman says "No" to sexual contact, believe her and stop.
*Remember that date rape is a crime. It is never acceptable to use force in sexual situations,
no matter what the circumstances.
*Don't make assumptions about a woman's behavior. Don't automatically assume that a woman
wants to have sex just because she is drinking, dresses provocatively, or agrees to go to your
room. Don't assume that just because a woman has had sex with you previously she is willing to
have sex with you again. Also don't assume that just because a woman consents to kissing or
other sexual intimacies she is willing to have sexual intercourse.
*Be aware of your date. Having sex with someone who is mentally or physically incapable of
giving consent is rape. If you have sex with a woman who is drugged, intoxicated, passed out,
incapable of saying "No," or unaware of what is happening around her, you may be guilty of rape.
*Be especially careful in group situations. Be prepared to resist pressure from friends to
participate in violent or criminal acts.
*"Get involved" if you believe someone is at risk. If you see a woman in trouble at a party or
a male friend using force or pressuring a woman, don't be afraid to intervene. You may save the
woman from the trauma of sexual assault and your friend from the ordeal of criminal prosecution.
Ways to Avoid Date/Acquaintance Rape:
* Be assertive and sure of what you want to do.
* Make plans ahead of time so that someone will know where you are.
* Pay attention to what is happening around you. Do not put yourself in a vulnerable situation.
* Avoid excessive use of alcohol or drugs. They interfere with your ability to communicate and
increase your chances of being assaulted.
* Make conscious and active choices. Say what you mean and express what you feel.
* Most of all do not be afraid to say "NO".
* Do not imagine that because someone has spent a lot of time, attention or money on you that it
obligates you sexually. You have a right to say "NO".
* Trust your instincts. If a situation feels wrong or dangerous it may me. Get away, call for
help, and listen to your instincts.
So called Date Rape Drugs such as GHB, Roofies, Ketamine and others are chemical compounds that amplify the effect of other drugs, usually alcohol. These drugs pose particularly significant problems because they are colorless, odorless and easy to place in an unsuspecting person’s beverage. If you or a friend find you are intoxicated beyond what you might expect based on what and how much you have consumed or if you become confused, dizzy or ill for any unexplained reason seek medical assistance, tell a friend and get help.
If you have been raped or drugged, report the crime immediately to the police and seek medical attention. On campus the University of Florida Police will provide assistance to you including contacting the department’s Crime Victim Advocate
For further information on this or others safety topics please contact the University of Florida Police Department’s Community Services Division at 392-1409.